Lyrics

The tradition of Fe­stivus begins with the airing of grievan­ces

Let's get ready to rumble!

I was raining blows
In the Christmas snow
I knew it
There was a better way
Look to the sky and realized
It was a Festivus kind of day

It's a Festivus for the rest of us
The most wonderful day of the year
It's a Festivus for the rest of us
Get your Christmas out of here

Gather your family around
Tell them that they all suck
Christmas trees are all I see
But I don't give a fuck

Take a look in my cr­awl space
Have you seen my pol­e?
Great str­ength to weight ratio
Tinsel is distracting
So don't decorate my pole
It's made from aluminum
And I'll stick it in your hole

Donating to the human fund
It's money for peopl­e, don't you know?
Donating to the human fund
I don't care and it shows
Donating to the human fund
It's money for peopl­e, don't you know?
Donating to the human fund
I don't care and it shows

Where's your Festivus spirit?
Eye for an eye
It's time for feats of strength
So stop crying and fight your father
Until you pin me, do­n't bother
Tying to leave
'Cause Festivus is not over

Do you know who's a man?
I'm a man
And you're two faced
Like a Batman villain

I ate a lot of crap
To get where I am
Paco's in the back
Rubber bands in your soup
You don't need no fucking glass­es


You're weak!

Festivus yes! Bagels no!
No bagel, no bagel, no bagel, no bagel
Festivus yes! Bagels no!
No bagel, no bagel, no bagel, no bagel
Festivus yes! Bagels no!
No bagel, no bagel, no bagel, no bagel
Festivus yes! Bagels no!